I'm so sad, i feel so alone, whats wrong with me?

for the past few days, i've been crying randomly and for like an hour at a time. for example, a few hours ago i was at the salon getting my hair done and i had to struggle to hold back tears. i don't know what to do. that's not it. i only have 3 close friends. everyone else i push away or keep at arm's length because i dont want to get hurt. if it wasn't for my friend kayla i would be all alone in the world, she's the only person who knows everything about me and doesn't judge me. she's the only person i fully trust and can depend on. i think most people secretly hate me, including my boyfriend and talk about me behind my back. i feel like my life is worthless and has no meaning. i just wish i could win the lotto, change my name and move to a state or another country where no one knows me and start a new life. i'm also a hypochondriac, i always think i have a new disease or illness and i know i don't but the logical part of my brain is often overpowered by the crazy part. i don't know what to do. i'm going to see a therapist in about a week and a half. am i just depressed or is there something else wrong with me? i'm so lost, i don't know what else i can do.